apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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