u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
