Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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