I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
