never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
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I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
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It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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