Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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