trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
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If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
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All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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