saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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