She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
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He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
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Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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