come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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