But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
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Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
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You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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