in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
