she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
