i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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