The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
