Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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