I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
