Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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