false alarm. still invincible.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
