Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
