I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
