my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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