Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
