He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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