is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
