Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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