why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
