U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
