sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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