how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
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My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
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You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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