Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
