How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
