i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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