this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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