dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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