I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
