can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
