no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
...so i touched it.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
you had me at cake vodka
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
