Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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