Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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