when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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