i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
