I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you never un-have a 4some
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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