i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
