Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
