3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
