I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I skipped work to stalk him.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
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She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
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Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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