I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
