i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
