I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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