Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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