Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
