No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
