Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
