Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
