I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
