four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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