i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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