TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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