You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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