Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
