ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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