There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
