i was born a porn star she said
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
