Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
