at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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