She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
